Have you found it hard to keep to your new year resolutions? Do you find that you are reverting to old ways? If so, what are you finding the hardest?
I decided that there are things that I wanted to change and which I’m succeeding at. However, I’ve occasionally lapsed and when this happens it is important to ask some questions.
Who creates the biggest obstacle to your success in keeping to your resolutions? Many people do not realise that they are stopping themselves fulfilling their achievement. But why can’t they change? As a Cognitive Hypnotherapist, I believe that the unconscious dictates about 90% of our behaviour. This is a huge percentage! We aren’t always aware of what we are doing: we are on auto-pilot. We will rationalise and convince ourselves, for example, confusing procrastination with laziness. Our unconscious is filtering information (it’s estimated 11 million bits every second) according to our beliefs even when proved otherwise. And the lives we lead can often be driven by events in our childhood, often significant emotional events that our young minds aren’t able to digest properly.
Decisions or lack of are formed from a limiting belief(s) in ourselves or from a secondary gain(s), such as what we would lose in our quest for success. What will you lose if you were to succeed? Would you lose the freedom to see your friends / family because you become too busy? What would then become important to you? Is this frightening? Can you see yourself as the person you want to be? If you really want to change but are finding it hard, you may find Cognitive Hypnotherapy helpful to expel limiting beliefs and / or uncover and remove secondary gains (or, if more appropriate and healthy, have these gains but integrated in to the life you seek). Sometimes we need a little assistance and Cognitive Hypnotherapy can give you the tools to become the master of your life.
Even the decision to see a therapist is not always easy to make. So, you may want to make lists of what is important to you and an action plan, for instance, a thousand actions. For example, as simple as obtaining a phone number or an email address as the first action to ascertaining employment. Announcing to your friends and / or family your intentions is a strong motivator, especially if written. Often the hardest thing to do is to get going, it’s like learning to ride a bicycle without stabilisers. We may be wobbly to begin with but through perseverance we let go of the anxiety that we will fall. Also, the initial push is the hardest (especially if we are in the wrong gear) but, once we get going, the energy we produce propels us forward.